Forget Me Not
by HolbyCityFanfics
Summary: "It's called frontotemporal dementia, one of the only types of dementia that can hit teens and young adults." A story in which Arthur forgets so Dom remembers, because love is just that strong.
1. Chapter 1

Dom's POV

"It's called frontotemporal dementia, one of the only types of dementia that can hit teens and young adults."

I still remembered the day of the diagnosis.

I remembered being sat in a white walled room, staring at the pictures on the wall. I couldn't quite focus on the conversation, my mind was too preoccupied with the thought of bad news. Bad news for my Arthur.

I remembered his reaction. The second the doctor uttered the words, I could feel my heart thumping, pressing against my chest as it tried to fight through the agony. Arthur was in shock, his eyes staying glued to his hands, and his overall posture was stiff, solid as I tried to get a reaction from him.

It was almost as if he couldn't feel anymore.

I remembered comforting him that night, rocking his body back and forth as he cried out, pleading for something else, some other disease, that wouldn't leave him fighting, fighting for his memories.

I remembered that it was the worst day of my life.

As for Arthur, it was if it had never happened.

He didn't remember that day.

{~}

 _It started with him forgetting his keys, forgetting to run a lab test once in a while._

 _To me he was just my forgetful friend, the one we would laugh at, laugh with, as he made a mistake._

 _I thought nothing of it._

 _He thought nothing of it._

 _At the beginning of 2015 we were out for dinner, a sushi bar next to the Brighton pier, Arthur's favourite place._

 _He loved the beach, a place he felt was calming, comforting when life was too much. It was his idea on this spring evening, to bring me for a late night walk . He was persistent with showing me the Brighton sights, as we had only one more day left._

 _One more day until we left for the wards of holby once again._

 _We were walking out of the restaurant, when he stopped me, and began to take my hand. It felt weird at first, as if his touch felt foreign to me, but I accepted his gesture, and he lead me to the railings at the end of the pier, looking out across the ocean._

 _"I have to tell you something Dom, and it's very important to me." He breathed, now gripping both of my hands, and intertwining our fingers, slowly, carefully._

 _"You can tell me anything Arthur." I smiled, massaging his palms. My gaze was fixed on his dark eyes, gleaming as the sun shone on them, and I wished again that we could have more than a platonic friendship._

 _We had talked about it before, we confessed our feelings for each other in the tense air of the on call room. It didn't seem real though, as if it not being out of the hospital, made it less special, something we both quickly 'forgot'._

 _I was quickly bought back to reality as Arthur cupped my face, smiling nervously, as he looked me up and down. My heart felt heavy, and as my stomach turned and twisted, I wanted to do nothing more than kiss him, passionately like never before._

 _"Dom, I just wanted to say it again, I wanted to say, I-I need y-you, as m-more than a friend." He was stuttering, a known trait for Arthur Digby. "I need someone close to me Dom, I told myself that I didn't, but I do, I can't fight it anymore, I just can't do-"_

 _Before he could get another word out of his mouth I crashed my lips on to his, pulling my hands up and lacing them around his shoulder blades. I could feel him grin into the kiss, and I pulled away to see warm tear streaks on his face, his eyes now glowing with a watery film across them._

 _"Dom I-I think I'm ready to give 'us' a t-try." He cried, hugging me tightly, as we stood against the ocean, watching the end of the Brighton sunset._

 _The sky was all different shades of purple and red, and the light reflected beautifully on the water ripples, making the place picturesque, a magical setting, as I kissed him again._

 _"I think I'm ready too, babe." I stroked the side of his cheek, catching a single tear on my finger. He smiled through his sniffles, and persisted with holding me tightly._

 _"Dom I think I'm ready to give 'us' a try." Arthur whispered in my ear, beginning to whimper again, as I held him. I pulled away slightly, and nodded my head._

 _"Diggers, you just told me that." I stated looking confused as he shook his head. I grabbed his shoulders carefully, and looked into his eyes once again. I saw frustration, annoyance with himself as he realised he had mucked up._

 _"I'm sorry, I just forgot for a minute and I-" He tried to explain himself, but I cut him off, smiling reassuringly._

 _"It's okay." I replied, looping my arm with his, so we could take a gentle stroll back towards his car. "Everyone forgets sometimes."_

 _"I'm sorry." He muttered again looking down at his feet. I instantly felt bad for pointing it out, and I pulled his chin up, so he was looking at me clearly._

 _"When you can't remember things, I'll always remember for you." I chuckled, saying it as more of a joke. He laughed, and knocked my arm._

 _"Promise?" He asked, smiling as I pecked his cheek._

 _"Would I ever break a promise?"_

 _He shook his head and persisted with walking, an expression of accomplishment on his face. He seemed oblivious to what had just happened._

 _That was the first night I knew something wasn't quite right._

 _Something was wrong._

 _Why did he keep forgetting things?_

{~}

I walked into the familiar building, the one I was ever so used to being accustomed with, holding a photo album today. I bought something different everyday, something that I could show him while I was visiting.

I looked at the blue painted sign, the cheery old thing that sat on the desk. I saw it all the time, but it never failed to make me smile.

"Happy days Hospice."

I practically lived here, but I didn't mind.

I promised him, and I would keep my promise.

When he couldn't remember, I would remember for him.

And that's just how it would be from now on.


	2. Chapter 2

Dom's POV

It was a warm day, so I had decided to bring Arthur into the garden, a small peaceful patch of land, just outside of the hospice. He liked to sit under the same tree, something he remembered each time we came here.

"Where do you want to go honey?" I smiled, pushing the all so familiar wheelchair, he needed.

The dementia was in it's final stages, and as a now 25 year old man, he was confined to a metal chair, with a blue cushion positioned for his head. He had lost the use of his legs a few months ago, the disease rendering him too weak and confused to walk about.

He took a few seconds to think before pointing slightly at the tree, the same old birch we always went to.

Just as I had predicted.

I locked the wheels, and sat on a bench next to him, taking his hand in mine.

He still knew who I was, he promised me he would always know who I was, and to this day he hadn't broken that.

He would get scared of people visiting, causing him distress as he didn't know who was holding his hand, or kissing his cheek.

The only people he allowed to touch him was his nurse, Essie, and I, his husband.

I took the photo album out of my bag and placed it in his lap, opening the front cover so he could look at it.

I often bought interactive things with me, so I could communicate with him more, talk through pictures and memories I suppose.

His speech wasn't so good anymore, he found it hard to piece sentences together, his words often slurred and incoherent. He tried though, on his more lucid days.

Today seemed like a bad day.

The nurses said that he was especially upset, and frustrated, confused as to why he was in such a place. They told me about his crying, his refusal to eat his breakfast.

He was giving up, and it was killing me.

"Point to a picture, and I'll tell you about it if you like?" I gestured, holding the book upwards so he could see them better.

His eyes showed signs of happiness as he looked over all of the individual photographs, each one of them new to him, things that he didn't know he had done.

He pointed to one from a year ago, back at his parents house, where we were sharing a Christmas dinner, all sat smiling underneath the tree.

That was not long before he got bad, a few months before he plummeted downhill. At that point he knew who we all were, and was quite happy to sit and watch us fuss around him.

It was his last good Christmas.

{~}

" _Do you want to open your presents Diggers?" I smiled, gesturing to the pile under his name. Zosia, had positioned all of our gifts in sections, making it easier to get to them all._

 _"Yeah, okay." He got off the sofa, and joined me on the floor, his legs crossed and his smile growing._

 _I had to keep reminding him it was Christmas, each time watching him, as he would protest, convinced it was just a normal day. Nevertheless, he got excited when he saw the tree, and started to open his presents, much to his excitement._

 _It was nice to see him happy for once, something we didn't see very often. Arthur was so caught up with getting frustrated with himself, he forgot about the good things in his life, the things there to make him smile._

 _It was part of the disease I suppose._

 _As he got to my present, he read the tag and gestured for me to hold his hand, intertwining our fingers as I did so._

 _He unwrapped the red paper, and began to study the small box, now sat between his legs. As much as it would have been nice to give him a ring, he already sported his wedding ring with great beauty, still remembering that day perfectly._

 _He told me that memories like that were so special, that the brain could simply not forget them, dementia or not._

 _He opened the box and gasped as he saw its contense. I had left a note at the top, and he took it carefully, studying the words that I had written._

 ** _My dearest Arthur,_**

 ** _Merry Christmas my baby._**

 ** _I just wanted to write you a little letter, explaining something very important to me, something I have never told you before._**

 ** _I used to be afraid of words, writing down my emotions on paper instead, so the world wouldn't see them._**

 ** _That's why I love Medicine so much, I love the fact that it's all black and white, the fact that any feeling, pain or condition can be explained, cured and fought. To me it's easier, easier knowing all the answers instead of having to trust my heart._**

 ** _You know all that though, I have told you about it._**

 ** _But the one thing you never knew, was the word I was most scared of, the one I would not utter to a soul._**

 ** _Not until you took my heart._**

 ** _You gave me strength to untame my mouth, let my heart speak, finally letting it out of this consumed and stupid cage._**

 ** _Your presence forced me to get used to the word Love, the word I was so very scared of._**

 ** _You showed me that it was okay to give my heart and soul to someone, to fall into the hole of love so deep that I could never get out._**

 ** _But knowing that you were the one pulling me into it, you were the one I was finally saying it to, made me not afraid anymore, it made me stronger._**

 ** _So I know everyday I say it, but I just want you to know I'm sure._**

 ** _I'm yours._**

 ** _Enjoy the necklace, and know that my heart and soul went into this gift._**

 ** _I love you, and I'll never be afraid to say it._**

 _ **Dominic xx**_

 _He looked up at me with tears in his eyes, and persisted with unwrapping the foil, enveloping his gift._

 _He pulled out a silver necklace, a rustic shaped heart falling along the bottom of it, sat nicely as a pendant. The silver weaved chain was delicate, and he held it in his hands, his eyes widening as he saw that it was engraved, with a quote that he loved._

 ** _"We don't remember the days, we remember the moments._**

 _ **I love you.**_

 _ **Dom xx'**_

 _"I love you too." He sniffled throwing his arms around my neck, as he pulled me into a tight hug. His tears were now staining my shirt._

 _"I will never forget you D-Dom, I won't I p-promise." He cried, cupping my face to kiss me slowly, our lips moving together as I leaned in._

 _"I know baby, I know." I hummed, drying my own tears as we pulled away._

 _I loved him so much._

{~}

He had drifted to sleep towards the end of the story, the dream land often swallowing him.

Sometimes I though about his dreams, wondering if he thought about his memories, replayed them as if they had come back to life. I wasn't sure of course, but it was nice to think about.

I went to kiss him on the forehead, before pulling backwards slightly, to get a look at him.

There it was.

The sliver chain stayed laced around his neck as it always did, there since the day he got it.

He couldn't remember why he had it, but he would get upset of it was taken away. He would often study it with his prized medals as he laid in bed, not able to read the writing anymore, but still interested in it's shiny exterior.

He knew it meant something to him.

It was another part of me he could remember, and for that I was grateful.

"Sweet dreams baby." I whispered, pecking his cheek.


	3. Chapter 3

Dom's POV

It was a new day, and my ride to the hospice was a peaceful one, with the one and only Morven, our colleague and friend of many years. She was sat in the passenger seat of the car, holding a picnic basket and a blanket, smiling as we drove past the trees and the bushes on this small country lane.

The hospice was in a rural area, a place that was peaceful for the residents, calming I suppose. I knew Arthur liked the outside these days, the flowers and the sounds of the birds. He liked to look out of the window at the landscape they had created, staring in awe at the pretty ornaments and potted plants around the walking paths. He often pined to go for walks out there, even if it was me pushing him around.

We had decided it was a good day to take Arthur out, a change of scenery for him as summer drew closer.

There was a small river walk, about three miles from here, and Morven had suggested preparing a picnic for the three of us. She had packed different sandwiches and sweet treats, and then some softer foods like yoghurt and bananas for Arthur to nibble on.

We thought it would be perfect, somewhere where he could feel relaxed for once. Being stuck in the same room frustrated him, and he was fed up of looking at the same four walls.

"Hey Arthur." I smiled as I stepped into his room. Morven was close behind me, walking up to his bed, and taking a seat on one of the chairs.

Arthur liked Morven.

He wasn't quite sure who she was, but he always seemed cheerful in her presence. She reached out to stroke his hair, touching him gently, as he usually got distressed.

This time he smiled, and hummed peacefully at her touch. Today was obviously a good one.

"We're taking you out for the day, are you excited babe?" I began to take the wheelchair from the side of the room, and I pushed it to the edge of the bed.

With some encouragement he managed to sit up, and Essie, his nurse, helped me hoist him into a comfortable position on the chair.

"Are you ready to go honey?" Morven asked, watching carefully as he looked around the room. "We're going to have so much fun Digby!" She beamed.

"Y-yeah" he managed to stutter out, breathing deeply as I wheeled him outside.

-Time Skip-

We had found a place on the edge of the grassy bank, the river just a foot away. The large overgrown flowers caught Arthur's eyes, and he was mesmerised with their blue colour.

I took my chance and grabbed one for him, placing the single stalk in his hands, as the others swayed in the distance.

"A flower for the man I love." I chirped, kissing the side of his temple as Morven walked over. She made an awing sound and gestured for me to look back at Arthur.

He was trying to say something.

"F-for-forget n-not" He mumbled, studying the bluish tint on the edges of the petals and smiling up at me.

"That's right, that's a forget me not flower." I nodded my head, and he seemed very satisfied with himself.

"Do you remember the first time you saw one of those?"

{~}

 _It was a long day at holby for Arthur, his now f2 status draining for him as he was given case after case, forced to tackle them on his own._

 _It was just over 2 months since he had gotten together with me, and we were going strong, well, when we weren't in holby that is._

 _We didn't show our affection for each other on the wards, Arthur too never us to finally admit who he was. It was hard not to cuddle into him, or kiss his fragile cheek when he got stressed over a case. If we wanted to talk we went out, hidden from prying eyes._

 _Zosia was the only soul that knew of our love, and if that made Arthur feel at ease, I was happy._

 _"Dom..." His shaky hand was on my shoulder, his eyes red and puffy again. The stress was easily getting to him, the thought of his newly diagnosed disease on top of a case he couldn't solve._

 _It was breaking him in half._

 _"Let's go outside for some fresh air." I intertwined our fingers, stroking back his palm with my thumb. "You look like you've been hit by a truck." I giggled, pulling him slowly from the ward._

 _Hopefully no one would know we were gone._

 _We were soon in the peace garden, finally alone to comfort one another. He laid against my chest, his breathing less heavy, his body finally not shaking. It killed me to see him so stressed, but my eyes shone as he hopelessly looked into them._

 _"Thank you, you know, for being there." He whispered, still gripping my hand tightly. "I know these last few weeks have been hard." He gulped, shaking his head as if he blamed himself._

 _I rolled my eyes, tapping him jokely on the shoulder. He didn't realise how much he meant to me, he didn't realise I'd do anything to keep him safe._

 _"Stop it you." I pressed a kiss to his fair black hair, and stroked it back behind his ears. "I'm here for you, I'm always here for you."_

 _He smiled._

 _It went silent, silent until he suddenly noticed the scenery around us._

 _"Guess what these flowers are called." He laughed, changing the subject, pointing to the tiny blue petals sticking out from the bushes._

 _I shook my head, and raised my shoulders, gesturing for him to carry on._

 _"Forget me nots, they actually have flowers called forget me nots!" He giggled, leaning over to pick one from the pile._

 _I watched as he held it in his hands, and studied it carefully, before leaning over, and placing it in my hair. My curly locks held it in, and the blue stood out against its brown colour, making it look like some sort of hair accessory._

 _It was cute though._

 _"What's this for?" I chuckled, retaking his hand in mine as we still cuddled against the peace garden bench._

 _"To say I will forget you not." He leaned in and pecked me on the cheek, before looking up at me with those innocent brown eyes of his._

 _"Aww baby, that's sweet." I bought him in for a side hug, and laced my arm around his torso._

 _"As I said my memory is fine Dom." He reassured, leaning his head against mine._

 _"I would never forget you, even when I'm old and grey."_

{~}

As I finished the story, Morven had began to place the food on the blanket, still looking at me as I stopped talking.

"Do you tell him stories everyday?" She asked, handing me a yoghurt and a spoon for Arthur. I nodded my head, and looked back at him, he seemed like he wanted to get out of the chair.

"You really are dedicated Dom." She smiled. "If only I could find a man so loving." She sighed, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"If only Arthur knew how much I loved him." I sighed, beginning to help him out of his chair. I pulled him onto the blanket, and opened my legs so he could sit between them. His head rested against my chest, as I had to hold it up.

He was too weak to do it himself.

Morven kissed my forehead, almost to try and comfort me, as I stopped speaking, more focused on making my husband comfortable. I gave her a forced smile, before opening the yoghurt, so he could have a spoonful.

"If I'm half as good of a wife as you are a husband, I will be truly proud of myself." Morven implied, shaking her head in disbelief as I began to feed Arthur. He opened his mouth as he saw the spoon coming, and I smiled as he took it slowly, happy to eat today.

"You're still cute together though." She was reaching for her phone to take a picture of us against the river drop. "That's one for the scrapbook!" She showed me it with delight, as she took a sandwich out.

"That's another memory I can tell him about." I replied, kissing his hair.

It was a shame he wouldn't remember this day.


	4. Chapter 4

Dom's POV

*Ring Ring, Ring Ring.*

I groaned as I turned over in bed, sloppily hitting the sides of the nightstand, fumbling for my phone. I prised myself into a sitting position, and lazily answered the call, confused as to why someone was ringing at 3:00am.

"Hello?" I spoke groggily, still rubbing my eyes as I waited for their reply. If this was a prank call, or a doctor with my number, I wasn't going to be happy about it.

"Hi, is that Dominic Copeland?" It was a woman's voice, vaguely familiar I think. I nodded to myself, before answering her.

"I'm Catherine, one of the night staff at your husbands Hospice, is there any chance you could come down here?" I listened carefully, before her question rendered me confused. She had a hint of worry in her voice, and it felt serious at such an obscure time.

"Of course, but can I ask what is the reason, at this time of night?" I felt a little pit of dread in my stomach, like any human thinking the worse, but I knew he wasn't that bad yet, he couldn't be.

"I'm afraid Arthur is having some trouble sleeping, and he is disturbing the other residents. We have tried to calm him, but we think you would do a better job." The woman spoke with sadness in her voice, as if she was tired of fighting his night terrors.

He only seemed to be calm around me.

-Time skip-

I entered the building not many minutes after. Since he had moved here, four months ago, I had found a property, just a few miles down the road. It was easy access, and it felt nice to live in the country for once.

I walked into his bedroom, to be faced with Essie, rubbing his back as he screamed out.

"I've tried everything I can Dom, nothing will shift this one." She huffed sadly, still massaging his back in circular motions.

I imagined it was another nightmare, a delusional hallucination, something quite common with the disease.

It was the night terrors that came second in his array of symptoms, the thing that finally pushed him to the doctors as he was scared to fall asleep.

{~}

 _5th December 2015._

 _It was late at night, and as we finished yet another documentary, I was falling asleep on Arthur's shoulder._

 _I had been reading up on a new type of appendectomy all night, my head in a book as well as trying to take care of my boyfriend, the one who was slowly making himself weak._

 _"Babe, come on, you need to go to bed. It's making you ill!" I whined, trying to pull at his arm, as his eyes, half open, were still staring at the TV. "If you keep losing sleep, I'm going to have no sympathy for you when you get sick!" I stated._

 _"Dom, I don't want to go to sleep, not after last time!" He protested, slowly walking to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. "I don't need to go to bed, I'm just fine I-" suddenly he went quiet, and I shot up from the sofa._

 _"Diggers?" I shouted, confused as to why he had gone mute. I heard the crash of a porcelain cup, and I rushed to him quickly._

 _"ARTHUR!" I fretted rushing to his aid. He had managed to slide down the back of the cabinet, so sleep deprived that he didn't know what he was doing._

 _"Right that's it, you're going to bed. You haven't slept in 4 days Arthur." I picked him up with a struggle, and carried him bridal style to the bedroom. He was already asleep when I placed him on the bed._

 _"Sweet dreams honey, gets some rest." I climbed in beside him, and stroked his flat wisps of hair. He was very cute when he slept, the little bump on his head especially prominent._

 _I kissed it._

 _-2 hours later-_

 _"NOOOOO!" I woke up startled to find Arthur sat up, wailing for mercy. I knew what was happening, and quickly wrapped my arms around him, trying to calm him down._

 _"It was just a nightmare, just a nightmare baby." I soothed, laying him back down with me as he shook. He curled up into my side, and I hugged him tight, stroking his sweaty back and showering him in kisses._

 _"You're okay, everything's okay. I'm here Diggers, I'm here..." I tired to whisper calming words, but he just cried._

 _He cried hard._

 _"You need to see a doctor, don't you think?" I suggested, just as he was peacefully snuggled into me. He wouldn't let go of my torso, and I didn't want him to. I kissed his forehead, and sighed as I saw his eyes widen in dread._

 _"B-but I-" He tried to refuse, but this time I wasn't having it._

 _"All of this isn't good for your health baby, you need to talk to someone other that me, you need to be sleeping properly."_

 _I watched him nod his head, before crying once again. He was scared of what the doctors would say, and to be honest, so was I._

 _First thing tomorrow I was going to tell Sacha, I was going to get to the bottom of this._

 _{~}_

"Hey, hey, baby what's with all the noise?" I cooed, nodding at Essie as she began to stand up. She walked over to the other side of the room, and took a perch on a chair.

Arthur heard my voice, and stopped crying for a second, his heavy breathing slowing slightly. I climbed onto his bed, and began to kiss his neck as I got close. He was all sweaty, but I didn't care, I loved him in any form.

He began screaming again, as I rocked him back and forth, desperately holding his body weight as he panicked. He really wouldn't calm down this time, and I understood why I was called.

"Arthur, Diggers, look at me." I pleaded, pulling his face upwards so he could focus on mine. "It's Dominic baby, it's Dom." I soothed, stroking his fluffy hair. "Please calm down, you're okay, everyone's okay."

He was just getting louder.

He was absolutely belting out yelps and screams. He kept shouting "No" every five minutes. I watched as another nurse and a doctor filed into the room, and gestured for me to leave the bed. I laid him back down, and gulped back my own tears, as I watched him being pinned down.

They gave him a sedative, something that instantly had him unconscious, rendering him weak again in his bed. His arms were no longer thrashing about, and he slept peacefully once again.

I was wide awake, and took the chair next to his bed, before taking his right hand in mine, and massaging his sweaty palms.

"Oh why does it have to be like this?" I asked myself, studying his delicate features, whilst gripping tightly on his little fingers. "Why did you have to get this, why you, my beautiful, beautiful Arthur."

"I just want our love to be normal again, I want you to kiss me like I kiss you." I felt the tears prick at my eyes, and I let them fall onto his arm.

I didn't cry when he was awake, as my pain distressed him. He could still sense when I was upset, often hitting my hand with his, gesturing for me to hold onto it.

"Is it bad that I just want you back?" I sniffled.

"I just want my Diggers back."


	5. Chapter 5

Dom's POV

I hadn't seen him awake in a few days.

My journey to the hospice each time was quick, and emotional, as he laid still in his bed, his head shifted to the side, so he was facing the window. Ever since the other night, he had been put on a calming drug, a type of sedative, to keep him relaxed. He just wanted to sleep, and spent most hours of the day curled up between the sheets.

It was sad to see him so fragile.

Today was our anniversary, 2 years married as a couple. I had rung his nurse, Essie, asking if it would be okay to take him out, and she had given me the all clear, happy that he was more alert today.

I prayed that it would be one of his lucid days, a special occasion in which he could share with me, but I had a feeling that those days were fading, quicker than I ever imagined. It would only happen for a few hours a week now.

As I entered the building, Essie had gotten him ready, and he was sitting in the reception, his eyes open wide right now. I breathed a sigh of relief, and got a good luck at his hazel brown orbs. I loved watching him sleep, but the colours of his eyes were too enchanting not to miss.

"Happy anniversary sweetheart." I walked over to him and kissed his forehead, watching as he looked up at me.

"A-Ann-Anninversawy?" He mumbled, looking frustrated as he couldn't quite get the word out. I nodded my head at him, and took his hand, pointing to the golden ring on his finger.

"2 years baby, we've been married 2 years today." I smiled, and began to push the handles on his wheelchair. "That's why we're going out, I'm taking you somewhere special." He seemed happy as we strolled to the car, and bounced slightly against the chair.

He was much more awake today.

-Time skip-

"We're here!" I shook his shoulder awake as I helped him out of the car. He was still kind of sleepy from the long drive, but seemed satisfied as the sea breeze hit his face.

I had bought us to Brighton pier, the place we always came to on special occasions. It was his favourite day out, and I did this a lot, as the sea air did him good. I had begun to walk along the pier's stretch, and Arthur was pointing to the sea as I wheeled him in front.

"Do you know where we are?" I questioned, hopeful as we reached the end. We were stood against the railings, in the same place we had met, and I could see the ocean in front of us, the waves crashing against the metal bars.

"O-Our pl-place." He stuttered, smiling sweetly as he remembered its significance. He knew this was where we went on our highs and our lows, where we could find each other at anytime. He knew this was our place, the place where our love had begun.

"I love you." I sniffled, trying to hold back the tears. He couldn't see me cry, not in his position, so I knelt down beside him and buried my head in his torso, something I used to do a lot. I hugged him tight, and he put his arm on my back, knowing my touch. "I love you so much."

"L-love you," He gulped down his emotions and closed his eyes, letting the atmosphere that was the salty air overcome him. He was talking well today. He was lucid.

"Story." He whined, as I pulled away, looking up at me with his innocent eyes. He knew that I told him one everyday, and he pined for one if not. It was the only way he could remember his memories, and I would never stop repeating them.

That was my promise.

"I bought you this today." I smiled, leaning over to grab my bag. Inside, I pulled out an envelope, holding two pieces of the same coloured paper. They were both in immaculate condition, and I cherished them dearly.

As I placed them on his lap, he looked confused, and I decided to explain their meaning.

"These are our wedding vows, the ones we both said on the day we got married." I said, pointing to my wedding script on the left. I could have sworn he had a tear in his eye, but I kissed his hand and carried on. "I thought, that as its our anniversary, it would only be right to read them, and tell you the story about that day." I watched as he nodded his head, ready for me to continue.

{~}

 _I was standing shakily, my breathing ragged as I unfolded the paper. We were stood at the alter, about to read our vows, and it was my turn to go first._

 _I cleared my throat, and took one last look in his eyes, watching as he nodded in reassurance. I suddenly realised I had to do this, and I shook away my anxiety._

 _"Arthur, I'm not sure where to start, but I know that holding this piece of paper, full of words, is not nearly enough to express my love for you._

 _I don't know where to begin, with the word love. My heart simply defies that term, shooting to the moon and back when I look In your eyes, and a bond as strong as that, can only be described as soulmates, a relationship that was always meant to be._

 _That night on the Brighton pier, the night you confessed your feelings, was the best day of my life. It will always be the place that I'll go to, to think of you, to be with you, even if one day I'm alone._

 _I know the diagnosis was hard, and will always be hard, but just know that every time your heart beats, mine beats a thousand times more, and every time you cry, I'll be crying_

 _with you. Just know that whatever you feel, I feel with you._

 _We are together, and will always fight as a team, just like we're doing now._

 _I love you to the moon and back baby, and I hope to always be by your side."_

 _"That's beautiful!" He cried, throwing his arms around mine. I was bawling too, and it wasn't long before we were kissing, there on the spot, for everyone to witness. I didn't care though, my Diggers was all that mattered._

 _"I now suppose it's my turn." He laughed, nervously pulling the paper from his suit pocket. "I decided to read you a poem." He breathed._

 _I nodded my head, holding his free hand tightly as he prepared himself. Before I knew it, he was getting ready to speak._

 _"Walking together the two of us vow._

 _Working together we're only one now._

 _And one with the other, unity share._

 _Our souls knit together, two hearts that do care._

 _Two paths are no longer, one road we do see._

 _Our life for each other, one flesh we will be._

 _No longer alone, our conflicts to bear._

 _With help from the other, our burdens we'll share._

 _The future is far, unseen it will be._

 _But with your hand in mine, we'll walk faithfully._

 _And when trials come, one prayer there will be._

 _Because now our hearts, will beat singly._

 _I love you with my all heart and all my soul, and on this day, I vow to never forget you, as sometimes love can override everything, and this is just one of those things._

 _I love you Dominic Copeland and nothing on earth could make me forget that thought."_

 _He walked over and pecked my lips, cupping my face as we leaned in, sealing the moment with one passionate kiss._

 _I loved him so much._

{~}

"Did you like that?" I smiled, folding up the paper once again, ready to read them the next time we came here.

He was crying, and I wiped his tears with the tip of my thumb. He was such a delicate person, and his emotion was beautiful, in this tender moment. I took his colder hand in mine and intertwined our fingers, looking back out at the sea.

"Sometimes, love can override everything." I said.


	6. Chapter 6

sorry it took so long...

Dom's POV

"SURPRISE!" I opened my door to find Zosia March stood against its frame, smiling up at me with her cheeky cheesy grin.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, shaking my head as she waltzed into my hallway. "I thought you were still on holiday?" I confessed, as she threw her arms around me, snuggling her now dark brown locks into the side of my neck.

"I finished that a week ago Dom? Remember?" She chuckled, her eyes softening as I looked down. She walked forward, and placed her hand on my shoulder, motioning for me to look at her.

"Babe, you look sick, you're as pale as a ghost, and those eye bags are the size of China!" She admitted, pulling me onto the sofa, and watching me flop into her lap.

"Dom? When was the last time you slept properly?" I didn't want to look at her concerned expression or her blue eyes pitying me. "Dommy?" She cooed pulling my head up.

"Not for a while." I yawned, still resting my now heavy head on her knees. "With everything going on, and the stress of Arthur going downhill and-"

"Digby's gone downhill?" Her eyes looked startled, and she sat up straight, worry now lacing her features. She had been away for at least three months touring around Australia, and parts of New Zealand, involved in a once in a life time medical trial. She hadn't been in contact with me, or seen Arthur since she'd left.

"His night terrors are getting worse, I'm having to go down there at early hours of the morning." I explained, watching as she shook her head, almost as if she disapproved. "His speech, movement and lucid thoughts are running low Zosh, I'm not sure how long he'll have them." I had begun to tear up, just thinking about him was making me emotional.

He was my baby, my sweetheart, and he was going though so much pain.

"Dom, I had no idea." Zosia's face displayed shock, her features scrunched up in confusion as I described Arthur's condition. She looked at me as if I was a child, not wanting to let me move from her embrace.

"I have t-to go and s-see him now." I stuttered, stumbling to my feet, as I pushed myself from his grip. I swayed against the leather sofa, and caught my balance on the edge of the sideboard.

"Right, that's it, sit back down." Zosia had sprung into action, and rugby tackled my torso, pulling me back into a laying position. "You're not going today, and that's final." She declared, pulling out the blanket from the side of the cabinet, and positioning it over my body.

I was too tired to protest, and I snuggled into its warmth, only closing my eyes for a second. I breathed in the scent from the blue cotton, and it smelt of Arthur, my dear sweet husband.

I remembered tucking us both in it, and watching Netflix through to the early hours of the morning, where I would wake to see my baby asleep, snuggled into my chest.

I missed those nights.

"I have to see him later." I protested, as Zosia sat down again, stroking back my messy curls. "He needs me." I croaked, sniffling once again.

"Let me go and see him instead." She smiled, kissing the top of my forehead. "Disease or not, you'll be just as ill if you don't get some rest Dom, and I can't see you both in that position okay?" She was turning on the TV, and I nodded my head, closing my eyes for a second time.

After all, Zosia was good at looking after Arthur.

{~}

 _It was a couple of months before Arthur had to go into care, and with a long shift coming up, I needed someone to help me look after him. He had a nurse that would come in daily, and clean him up for me, but I wanted someone there all the time, someone that he knew._

 _I watched as Zosia walked through the door, holding a worn down old box, and a couple of movies under her arm._

 _"I've come to entertain this one, whilst you get your job done today." She chuckled, pointing at Arthur, who was snuggled up on the sofa, in between his soft blue blanket. "Sacha will call blue murder if you take another day off." She giggled, walking over and leaning down to Arthur's level._

 _"Zosia!" He beamed, throwing his arms out for the girl to fall into. He still remembered who she was, and was cuddling her neck tightly._

 _"Okay Digby dog, lay back down." She chirped, taking the seat beside him._

 _"I have a puzzle on Norse gods we can do if you want?" She took the box from her hand, and placed it on the coffee table next to the sofa. I watched as Arthur pushed himself up, using quite some effort as Zosia helped, so he could get a good look at the picture._

 _He seemed happy with the activity, and nodded his head, so Zosia opened it, and started laying the pieces down._

 _"Well if you don't mind me, I have reports to read." I groaned, sitting at the other end of the room, looking at my watch and sighing. Two hours until shift, I thought..._

 _Arthur seemed comfortable, so for now my worries were clear._

 _I kept looking back at them, smiling as they got on so well. Zosia was calm with him, patient as he tried his best, putting pieces here and there. She would praise him when he got it right, and hug him when he got it wrong. It made a change to Arthur screaming at me in frustration, thrashing about until I managed to relax him again._

 _He really hated what he had, and the worst part was, that even though he was forgetting everything else, he knew what disease was attacking him, and he knew what it did, making him even more distressed on the worser days._

 _I was bought out of my reading once again, as Zosia whispered my name, gesturing for me to look over at the pair of them._

 _I took out my headphones, and listened to the silence across the room._

 _Arthur had fell asleep in Zosia's arms, and was now curled up against her on the sofa, re wrapped in his favourite blue blanket. Zosia was making cooing noises at his adorable little face, and I walked over to peck my husband on the forehead._

 _"Do you want me to move him?" I asked, looking at how he was laid flat out against Zosia's body._

 _"Of course not, I'm happy watching movies until he is awake." She reassured me, pointing at the empty bag in my living room. "Go and get that packed, you're leaving in a few hours!" She demanded, giggling as I huffed at the sight of the thing._

 _"Don't worry Dom, I'll look after him while your gone." She gestured to Arthur's sleeping form, brushing back his dark brown bangs, in a comforting way._

 _"Thank you." I breathed. "Thank you so much."_

{~}

"How was the sleep?" I woke up to Zosia hanging over me, holding a plate of pasta in front of my nose. I took it from her, and stared confusingly into her blue eyes.

"How long have I been out?" I croaked, taking a spoonful of the linguini covered with pesto. It tasted nice, and I quickly thanked her for it.

"You've been asleep for about 5 hours Dom!" She giggled, taking the seat next to me. "I've been to see Arthur, but he was resting today, so I came back and made us dinner." She took a large forkful and twisted the pasta around it.

"Thank you Zosh." I uttered, laying my hand on hers. "Thank you for being my best friend."

"Anytime, I'm always here." She smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7 forget me not

Dom's POV

"Sweetie, it's your birthday." I cooed, stroking his messy brown hair out of his eyes. It was a few weeks later, and Arthur's family had driven over, along with some of our friends, especially for his birthday.

He had gone downhill.

He just wanted to sleep. His eyes were hidden underneath his lids, and those pretty hazel orbs were never staring at me, innocent and glossy like they used to be. I was happy to see them for a few minutes everyday, as he woke up for a drink, or if a nightmare captured his dreams. If not, he would stay unconscious, only waking if he was forced.

His mum and dad were sat on the chairs, both holding one of his hands and massaging it soothingly. The doctor said that at this stage, he wouldn't be distressed as people touched him, more relaxed as he felt their presence, so I constantly laid beside him, often stroking his hair, kissing his neck as his eyes stayed shut.

It was the only way I could be with him.

He barely talked anymore, only making frustrated noises if he needed something. He used his hands to point to what he needed, often flailing them about as he got upset. The constant crying, and the distress he was facing, broke me, everyday.

He didn't know it was his birthday, but unlike usual, he wasn't so bothered that his bed was crowded, by his parents and a few of his friends. The doctor said he probably didn't notice, and his words made me think.

What if he didn't notice me anymore? What if I was just another faceless human, that was taking care of him. Had he forgotten me? Had he broken his promise? I knew it wasn't his fault, but in my chest I could feel my heart splitting, as if I had already lost him.

"Why don't we take him in the garden? It's a nice day." Zosia suggested, pointing to the new wheelchair that sat at the side. It was more comfortable than the first one, it's padded seating giving him full body support. It could recline, and it had a large cushioned end, keeping his head in one position. This meant he could sleep in it easier.

"What do you think Arthur, do you want to go outside?" I was pointing to the window, and I watched as he averted his eyes. There was not a cloud in the sky, and he was smiling at the silver birch sat behind the window. I watched as he flung his arm towards it, and I took the gesture as a yes, calling for his nurse, to get him ready.

-Time skip-

Once we were outside I parked him under the tree, and I sat on the bench, still holding his hand. He was looking at me with his tired eyes, and I saw his little grin. He began to whine slightly, any held out his arms, not stopping until I stood up.

"Do you want a cuddle baby?" I cooed, burying my head in his torso, and wrapping myself around his frame. As I pulled back, he seemed upset, his skin cold as I kissed his forehead. I grabbed his favourite blue blanket, that I had bought from home, and I laced it around his legs tucking him up.

"Right, time for a story." I said, pulling the new item out of my bag. I saw his eyes light up, still knowing what that meant, and I begun to show him what I had brought.

It was his birthday present.

I knew this would be the last thing I bought him, and as much as it saddened me, I wanted to make it special, something he could see everyday. I knew he wouldn't remember it, but it was more for my sake, something that made me feel more at ease with the inevitable.

I showed him a box, a small velvet thing, that was tightly clasped shut. I placed it in his hands, and he stroked the soft casing with his fingers.

"Do you want me to open it?" I asked, playing with the clasp to reveal it's contense, something that shone beautifully with the sun.

It was a small silver ring, the top of it finished off nicely with a emerald green stone, resembling the colour of my eyes. It was engraved at the back, with just one word, and that was my name. I had thought about it for a while, as I had received one for my birthday, it's design quite similar.

{~}

 _It was my 22nd Birthday, and I sat quite content in my lovers arms. As the disco quietened and the people left, it was just us, and our closest friends, sat in the large hired hall. Arthur had arranged a surprise party for me, along with Zosia and my holby family in on the secret._

 _Everyone had screamed surprise at me and I had ran to fling my arms around my love, stood grinning in the middle of the dance floor. The disco had been loud and energetic, as they played club classics. People were drunk and singing, and Sacha was persisting with having a dance off, with any person that faced him._

 _"I want you to come with me." Arthur smiled as we walked onto the dance floor. There were about 50 people still here, taking seats as we walked forward. At first I was confused, looking back at my friends and family, grinning like Cheshire cats._

 _My eyes widened as the music changed, and a new song began to play. It was one of my favourites, called Ease. We danced along, and he nestled his head in the crook of my neck, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I kissed his lips as I stared at his eyes, mesmerised by their dark hazel colour. It was my favourite shade, the colour I would see and think of him._

 _"Dom." He spoke as we pulled back, and the song faded a little. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time, and I thought today would be just perfect, so all of these people can witness the love I have grown to have for you."_

 _He pulled out a blue velvet box and kneeled on the floor. Instantly making me go weak as he grabbed my hand. I could hear the stifled gasps and cries from my family, and good old Sacha was barely holding it together._

 _As for me, I was a tear wrecked heap in Arthur's arms, watching in ore as he opened the clasp, to reveal a thick silver ring, all topped off with an emerald gem stone, positioned in the centre._

 _"I-it's b-beautiful." I cried, gulping away my tears as he raised it up in front of me._

 _"Dominic Copeland. Would you do me the greatest honour and take my hand in marriage?" He asked, slipping the ring on my finger as I furiously nodded my head._

 _"Y-yes." I stuttered, flinging my arms around his shaking figure. He was so nervous. "A million times yes!" I shouted, both of us now pulling back slightly as our holby friends cheered our names._

 _"I love you." He breathed, smashing his lips onto mine as we kissed, passionately in front of everyone. I didn't care that they watched us. I was happy, and nothing could bring me down._

 _"I love you more!" I whispered, my head falling into his neck, as our song came on again._

 _I was going to marry him. And I couldn't quite believe it._

{~}

"They match." I said, finishing the story, as I showed him my hand. My stone was the same colour as his. My ring said Arthur on it, and his said Dom.

"It's a sort of promise ring you see." I told him, watching as he studied its appearance. "It's to show that as long as you have it, I'm there too, just as I have mine to think of you."

He nodded and began to look at me, relaxing slightly as I pecked his cheek.

"Think of it as a promise that I'll always be with you." I said, watching as he drifted away again.

I just wished that he knew how much that sentence meant to me. The days I could be with him were cherished, so important. I wished that I could always be with him, but those days were running out.

They were running out faster than I could have ever imagined...


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8 forget me not

Dom's POV

It was nice watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful, curled up between the sheets.

It was a few days later, and to everyone's annoyance, I had refused to move from his bedside. Essie had continued to being me meals, adding my name to her list of regulars, satisfied with hospital food for the sake of their loved ones. Apparently I wasn't the only person who felt the need to hold my husband, other people slept over with their family members too.

"Hmmm" I heard a faint mumble from the cushions, signalling me to look up from my hands. Arthur was awake, and his eyes fluttered so softly as I came into his focus. He fidgeted around as much as he could, and began squeeze the palm of my hand.

"Good afternoon sleepy head." I smiled, leaning over to brush his hair back. His now pale complexion and sweaty appearance made me shudder, and I gulped down the lump protruding in my throat. He looked sick, and his overall health was failing him. He seemed feeble and puny, and his little smile had faded into a droop of his mouth.

I began to sit him up, and I plumped the cushions behind him. He seemed more comfortable, more alert when he sat up, and for that I was grateful. He wouldn't stay awake when curled beneath the sheets.

Essie had come along about ten minutes ago, smiling as he still slumbered. She had brought his dinner, hot under a metal casing, and walked away as she handed me some spoons. Now that he was conscious, it was my task to try and get something down him, to keep up his strength of course.

He had lost his appetite I think, pushing away most foods when presented with the smell. To be fairly honest I didn't blame him, often shying away from the stuff myself. It wasn't the best here.

"Look, they've given us some mashed potato and beans, you like that Diggers." I seemed enthusiastic as I spooned it up, holding his head forward as he went to take a bite. He shied away from the spoon as soon as he saw it and breathed heavily as I pushed forward.

It was no use.

He wouldn't eat.

"Okay, okay, we'll try again later." I put the plate back down, and continued to hold his hand. He seemed sleepy, looking sicker than usual today and I wondered if he'd nod off, but my assumptions of a peaceful afternoon were proven wrong, when I heard a knock at the door.

"DAZZLE!"

I stumbled to my senses and stood from the chair. Arthur who had awoken at this bellow seemed quite dazed and confused, looking up at me as I flew towards the door.

I knew the voice.

"Mum?" I questioned as I walked into the corridor. "MUM!" I smiled again as she embraced me in her cardigan. She was squashing my figure but I didn't care, softly snuggling into the crook of her neck.

"Sweetie, why are you staying here, Zosia told me you wouldn't come home." Her blithering voice was replaced with one of concern, and she pulled me from her chest to get a look at my face.

"He hasn't got long left, I can't leave him." I gulped, nervously playing with the zip of my jacket. "He needs me mum, I need him." I motioned to the bedroom, and smiled sadly at his name tag, stuck on the door.

"Darlin' I know, I know, but you need sleep too, you need a shower." She was stroking back my curls, and cupping my chin, affectionately, just like she used to.

"But mum, I promised him. I promised him that when the time came, I wouldn't leave him here!"

{~}

" _Felicity, are we doing the right thing?" I was shoving my panic onto Arthur's mum, drying the last of my tears on the sleeve of my jumper. "I could take care of him for longer, he isn't that-"_

 _She cut me off quite suddenly, pushing her finger to my lips in a careful motion. Her tears were withheld by the weakest of barriers, and she was on the verge of a break down, rather like me._

 _"Honey, Arthur is too sick now, he can't be in your care anymore." She motioned to my husband, that sat quietly in the car, confused and distressed as we loaded it with some of his possessions. "He is loosing his abilities Dominic, and you need to understand that this place will care for him."_

 _She put her hand on my shoulder, and kissed me on the forehead, before getting in the car herself, next to her son._

 _We arrived at the hospice for the first time, and my throat clenched shut as I saw the sign._

 _Happy days hospice._

 _We got out slowly, both taking Arthur's arms. He was beginning to find walking harder these days, so we helped him carefully, leading him inside. His physical health had gone down hill, and we had been advised to bring him to a place like this at this stage of the disease._

 _"Hi! I'm Essie, one of the nurses at Happy days. I'm here to show you Arthur's room." The sweet blonde lady lead us to the inpatient corridor, filled with brightly coloured pictures and ornaments. There was one woman walking around in her dressing gown, and she smiled as I walked my husband past her._

 _Arthur stumbled slightly, and kicked his foot down in frustration. I caught his wobbling figure, and stood him against the wall to gain his balance once more._

 _"D-damn it!" He cursed, persistent with his annoyance towards his shaking limbs. He held onto the hand rail quite firmly, and I looped my arm around him for support._

 _"Do you want me to get you a wheelchair, we have some just in the cupboard." This woman was smiling, gesturing towards the aid, but Arthur's face was a picture of horror as she said the word._

 _"N-no n-o." He protested, whimpering as she brought it forward. He pushed back as he flailed about, and I caught him quickly before he hit the ground._

 _"It's okay Hun, it's okay." I smiled the brightest smile I could as we placed him down, settling him against its cushioning. "It's okay Digby, it's just here to help baby." His mum cut in as she took the handles, distressed as she saw her son cry._

 _He relaxed slowly into its embrace and looked down at the wheels as we now quickly neared his room. He wasn't really sure where we were, or who this Essie person was, but I knew that he had just faced his biggest fear, and that was being confined to an old metal chair._

 _He had always hated the thought._

 _"Dom don't l-leave me h-here." He stuttered as we settled him in. He had a firm grip on my hand, and his tears dropped quite softly on my fingers._

 _"I won't leave you, I'll never leave you. I'll always be here, everyday." I kissed his cheek, and helped him up as he took a seat on his bed._

 _"Wh-what a-bout when t-t-the time c-com-comes?" He whined, burying his head in my chest. He knew that this disease was debilitating and he knew what would eventually happen._

 _"When the time comes, I will be there, right by your bedside, always holding your hand. I won't leave you baby, not for one second." I was crying too, as was his mother, who sat on the other side of him._

 _"I'm s-s-scared." He whispered as I rubbed his back._

 _"I know." I replied. "Me too."_

{~}

"Sweetheart, I know this may seem like your only option, and I know you want to be faithful to Arthur. I wouldn't expect you to be any different." My mum was walking outside, taking my hand in hers as we sat in the gardens.

"I'm just worried about you." She smiled sadly, caressing the side of my cheek.

"I will shower, I'll eat more, you don't have to-"

"Darren, I'm worried that you won't cope when he is gone." She admitted, clasping my hand in hers. "I've come over here to propose a question to you."

She looked up at me with pleading eyes, and stroked the tips of my fingers.

"When the time comes, I want you to move back in with me, so you are around people who love you and care for you. I can't leave you out here baby, I'll be worried that you'll do something silly." She sighed, watching as my eyes widened. I couldn't leave this place, Holby was my home, my fiends we're my family!

"I-"

we were both cut off, as another voice screamed my name. We both turned our heads, shaken as we saw Essie running towards us. My heart beat faltered and my complexion turned white.

"You need to come quickly Dominic, something is wrong with Arthur."

 **A/N**

 **I hate everything about this chapter. It's just ewwwwww. Anyway, I am so sorry for writing all this sad stuff! Like I was going to delete this book but someone messaged me and gave me this idea for the chapter. So unfortunately there won't be much more for this book, probs two or three more chapters? I'm not sure...**

 **Becca xx**


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9 forget me not

Dom's POV

We were in the hospital.

My mind was bewildered as I thought about the situation. I was stood solemnly in the waiting room, cautiously hanging onto my mothers arm as she kept me quiet. We were awaiting the arrival of Arthur's family and my shaking limbs could not take me standing any longer. I fell back into my chair. The plastic hospital comfort was not rewarding, but the seat made me stable again, dragging me back to my painful reality.

Breathing difficulties.

He had breathing difficulties.

That's how the Darwin team had described it, using the term 'difficult' rather lightly. He needed a tracheotomy in my opinion. He was gasping for air, I saw it. I remembered him turning a pale shade of blue in his panic, desperately hanging on till the paramedics arrived. I would have described it as a bit of a larger problem. Something more deathly than the world 'difficulty'.

None of that mattered though.

What mattered was that I didn't know where he was right now. What mattered was that I wasn't sure if he was okay. What mattered was that I didn't know whether this second, this very moment, could be his last breath. What mattered was I wasn't there to hold his hand anymore, pray for him as he floated away from me.

Right now he seemed so far.

"Dr Copeland?" I was brought from my hazy thoughts, as I was acquainted with Jac Naylor noting down my husbands case on her clipboard. She looked tired, stressed, and sad.

Bad news type of sad.

"Would you like to see Arthur?" She gestured for me to follow her, watching me with concern as I numbly prised myself into a standing position, taking my mothers hand as we began to walk.

"I'm afraid Digby is indeed very weak, and is being aided by a ventilator to help him breathe. Due to the severity of his condition, I'm afraid I can not predict how much longer we can keep him breathing for, but we are trying, we are trying our very best." She sent me a sad smile, before turning to leave us at Arthur's door, a private side room, yet again plastered with the same sort of grim looking name tag.

"Dominic." Jac gulped, her hand slowly resting on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, he was a good man." She nodded at me, a sign that it was okay to let go of my emotions.

I began to cry.

"M-mum." I whimpered, burying my head in her chest once more as she choked back her own sob. "M-mum he hasn't g-got long." I cried, slowly putting my hand on the handle. "I'm not sure if I c-can see h-him like t-this?" I sniffled.

"You can do it son. You have to do it. Just go in there and talk to him, talk to him as if he was Arthur, old Arthur. Tell him the stories he likes, tell him the things you want him to remember." My mum was leading me onto a chair, sat beside his now equipment filled bed.

It was truly devastating.

The man I once fell in love with looked so different now. His face looked small and gaunt, his cheekbones protruding and his eyes black and sunken in. He didn't look like my healthy Diggers, he looked weak and feeble, hidden under a mass of pipes and tubes, flowing into his mouth and down to his lungs. He looked worse than he did this morning, and I couldn't quite believe how fast he had tumbled down hill.

He was falling quickly, too quickly for me to pick up the pieces. He was fading, and I was grasping at the few straws I had left.

"Talk to him honey, calm him." My mum took the seat on the other side of the bed, and began to clasp her son in law's hand.

I mirrored my mums actions and brought his left hand to my mouth, kissing his fingers with all the care I could. I leaned over his bed and planted one on his forehead as he briefly shut his eyes.

I had to tell him a story, and I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to say.

"Can you remember. Can you r-remember? Urmmm can you remember when we-" I was stressing out, and my mum sensed how important it was to me that I said what I thought was important right now. She gave me a reassuring nod and I continued to think of something good enough to tell my dying husband on his dying day.

"Can you remember..."


	10. Chapter 10

Part 10 forget me not

Dom's POV

My breath hitched, the anticipation killing me as I was riddled with suspense. I hadn't spoken in minutes, my hand still lacing itself around his, tightly, anxiously. His eyes were open, the pupils dazed and unfocused. I could still stare at their vivid hazel colouring, and I smiled so slightly, gulping back my despair.

"Honey, the holby crew are outside. I'll leave you two alone okay?" My mum had risen from her seat, anxiously approaching me on the other side of the bed. She placed her hand lovingly on my shoulder, swallowing sadly.

Before she left, she turned on her heals, leaning over the bed to peck Arthur on the forehead. He barely responded, but I could see the love on his eyes as she pulled away. Maybe I was imagining it, but to me, I felt like he was still here, still aware, somewhere deep inside.

"Thank you for making my son happy, I am eternally grateful for that." She gave him a teary eyed smile, sweeping back his hair for a final time. "G-Good-b-bye Arthur." She sniffled, finally turning away, so she wasn't burdened with the sight any longer.

I could admit that it was a sad scene, a sad scene that I was a part of. I never once thought that as I now sat alone with him, I would be saying my goodbyes.

I wasn't sure that I was ready.

Of course I wasn't ready.

No one can really say goodbye, not to their true love.

"Can you remember?" I started again, mumbling to myself as I tried to find the right words. I tried to pick the right story to tell, the right flashback to create. Why did it have to be up to me? Why did I have to pick the last thing he would think of. It was down to me to put a memory in his mind, it was down to me to let him go happy.

The worst thing was, I didn't even know if he could hear me, maybe he had already drifted away.

I had to do this for me. I had to make sure that the last moments I spent with him were ones reminiscing over a happy memory, a time where I had never felt so high.

Having Arthur was like taking a drug, something that numbed all pain, breathed happiness into my lungs. And as he floated away, I felt as if the happy little pill was being pulled away from me, and I was suddenly feeling agonising withdrawal symptoms.

I was crying.

I closed my eyes.

Think Dom, what makes you happiest, what little things stick in your mind. What can you tell the man you love on his dying day?

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Can you remember that night we decided to be infinite?" I mumbled, caressing the side of his cheek. "We pretended that we were invisible to the world around us, bold and majestic like two stars." I could feel myself choking up, but I continued anyway.

"That night, 3 years ago was the night I knew that I had fallen for you. It was the night I knew that I had truly found love."

"Can you remember that Arthur?"

 _Flashback_

 _"Dance Dom, Dance with me." Arthur grabbed my arm, pulling me into his side as we fooled around._

 _It was late, a peaceful night along the beach In Clacton, just minutes from my home. We were visiting for a few days, much to my fathers annoyance, and as the summer months grew closer, we had decided to go for a picnic on the sand, watching the sun fall and the silver moon appear, creating a calm ripple of light, setting across the ocean._

 _"Diggers, careful!" I giggled, watching as he spun in unordered circles. He took my hand, pulling me towards the sea. We were in no more than a shirt and shorts, our feet bare against the sand. It wasn't long before he had bought us to the tide line, so the water just trickled over my toes._

 _The Music from my stereo was blasting into the open air, Oh Wonder loud and in its prime. I watched as my boyfriend put his hands on my shoulders, stepping around as we danced in the sea._

 _It was about 8:00pm, a dark sky beginning to emerge. I felt him burry his head I'm my neck, and I mirrored his actions as he tugged against my shirt._

 _"I love you." He whispered against the sound of the tide. He looked at me with teary eyes, his face young and beautiful in its prime. He gently pressed his lips against mine, finally looping his fingers around my ears._

 _"I love you too." I smiled, my forehead pressing against his as we rocked to the sound of the music._

 _"No Dom, you don't understand, I can't explain it I can't-" Arthur looked frustrated, suddenly holding out his hand. I was confused, but I took it, gulping as he lead me further up the beach._

 _We walked along the sandy heaven until he stopped, just minutes up the coast, leading me to take a seat on then rocks, rising further into the air._

 _"Baby, what do you want to tell me?" I asked, hesitant as he looked away, gazing whimsically at the stars above us._

 _"I have never felt like this before Dom." He breathed, his grip tightening around my fingers. "I don't know how to explain it." He sighed, his eyes averting back to mine, as he seemed to stare, his vision fixed._

 _"If you feel love, then I feel it too." I smiled, kissing the side of his cheek. He shuffled between my legs and laid down against me. I was sat behind him, just looking at his innocent expression as he focused on the sky._

 _"You see the stars?" He mumbled, pointing at the odd constellation. "That's what I think of when I'm not with you." He blinked like an angel, and I kissed his forehead._

 _"How come?" I giggled, shaking my head. "I mean I know I'm shiny with five sides to me. 4 of them bad and the other one just an evil facade." I was laughing and he hit my arm, pointing into the sky again._

 _"They are always there, they will always be in the sky. It doesn't matter if I'm on the other side of the world, or here right now in your arms. The stars will always shine and they will always appear. They are infinite Dom, the sky around us is infinite." I giggled breathlessly at his comment, shaking my head away from his cute nature. I could feel myself blushing, and I put my fingers through his hair._

 _"That's cute darling." I cooed, smirking down at him as he sighed again._

 _"You make me feel infinite." He sniffled, clasping my fingers. I leant over his form as he laid against my chest, and I kissed him there and then._

 _"And you make me feel like I'm on top of the world." I replied._

 _"Will we always be together?" He suddenly asked, cuddling up to my shirt. I felt the night get chilly and I wrapped my jacket around his arms._

 _"If it was up to me, I would never leave your side." I spoke truthfully, and I could feel tears prick at my eyes._

 _"You know what Dominic Copeland? We always will be together. You wanna know why?" I could feel his breath tickling my neck, and I liked that we felt so close._

 _"Why Diggers?"_

 _"Each time you look up at the stars, imagine me, think of me. When I look up at the stars I think of your eyes, you're big Ocean green eyes. The stars are infinite my love, and if we are a part of them, then so are we." I could see a tear, trickling down my face. He wiped it with his thumb, giving me a sad curl of the lips._

 _"The stars, that's where you'll always find me." He breathed._

 _I kissed him._

As I finished my story, I could feel my face's wetness, the falling tears salty as they streamed across my cheeks. Arthur's eyes were closed, his heart rate dropping slightly.

I hadn't noticed the crowd around us, made up of Arthur's family, my mum and a few friends, all now looking at the two doctors that entered the room.

Jac and Mo.

"I-Is it t-time?" I whimpered, my hazy gaze focused on my husbands features. I squeezed his hand lightly, a stray tear now falling onto his arm.

"Arthur's heart rate is dropping considerably, and the ventilator is the only thing keeping him alive right now." I heard a strangled sob leave Zosia's mouth, as she bent over the bed to hold her best friend.

I was emotionless. Numb.

"Now we can keep him like this, until he can survive no more, or we can let him go, peacefully, in your presence. Of course it is up to you, and we understand it's very hard, but do you really want the last hands that touch him to be ours, pumping his chest until we can go on no longer? Or do you want to be the one to hold him, help him go in peace?" Jac looked sympathetic, anxious as she stood in a room full of crying people.

"Dominic?" Arthur's parents looked to me, beginning to hold their sons hand. "He would want y-you to d-do th-this." His mum said, sobbing into her husband as I nodded my head.

"It's time." I gulped, my breath leaving me as they began to detach him.

"H-Hold him Son." My mum rubbed my shoulder, the doctors lifting Arthur slightly as I climbed onto the bed. He was laid in my arms, and I pulled him into my embrace. I could just about feel his short breaths on my neck, and I choked back my tears.

"N-now you listen to me." I whispered, stroking back his hair. "I'm right here, we're all here." I was crying, blinking back my tears with no avail as a waterfall fell into his hospital gown.

"You'll always be with me, and I'll always be with you. You're right, we're infinite. We are two tiny stars in a galaxy full of millions. You my love will be the brightest star in the sky, the most majestic, the one that people see on a cloudy night, still breaking through the darkness. You're light, pure and angelic. You're my silver moon. So you know what baby? You were right, okay, you were right." I stopped as I took a shaky breath, not daring to look at the faces around us.

I pulled him closer, putting my fingers through his locks. I kissed his forehead, my breathing rapid as I saw his heartbeat slow on the monitor. He was completely unaided, and only time would tell when he would drift away.

"When I look into the sky, and the dark nights get too much, I'll see you, shining from my window. You'll be there for me, I just know it. And in that way, we'll stay together. Always." I wrapped my arms around his figure, burying my tear stained face into his hair.

"I love you Arthur Digby, my beautiful star."

And in that minute he went, the flatline sounding for just a few seconds as Mo turned it off.

I could hear the people around me, crying, screaming. I felt Zosia burry her head in his chest.

I didn't cry. I couldn't.

I just looked up, my eyes gazing through the window. There it was, the dark night sky.

And do you know what I looked at?

The stars.

Because that's where he was.


End file.
